Stoicism And Shame

I was prompted to write this essay by an email I recently received from a former client of mine in the university counselling service where I work as a psychotherapist. Two years ago, she had presented with anxiety primarily caused by inherent shame. During the course of our work over three months, I referred her to a workbook based on traditional Stoicism. In her email, she wrote to let me know how she had subsequently become immersed in Stoicism and how it had helped her manage, and ultimately defeat, her shame. In this essay, I hope to demonstrate how Stoicism, from a psychotherapeutic perspective, can help a person overcome persistent shame.

In understanding shame from a Stoic perspective, it is important to define it from a psychological perspective. In psychology, shame is seen as a debilitating self-conscious emotion triggered by a belief that one is dishonourable or unworthy. Kaufman described it simply and well when he wrote “The inner experience of shame is like a sickness within the self, a sickness of the soul.” (1996, p.5).

In Stoicism, shame is primarily seen as an emotional experience. Zeno delineated four basic passions or emotions (pathé): Pain, fear, craving and pleasure. Diogenes Laertius refined these to include shame as a form of fear. Shame can initially manifest itself as a form of ‘pre-emotion’ (propatheiai). Blushing would be a primary example of the pre-emotive subconscious pinch of shame, as in Posidonius’s emotive or irrational tugs.

Psychotherapy includes the techniques of regulation of painful emotions via cognitive distancing and objective reasoning. This is where the mind distances itself from a disturbing thought and then attempts to apply rationality to that emotion-laden thought. Stoicism sees this process of regulation as the judgement of propositions. Impressions (phantasia) occur and contain both perceptions and value judgements which form propositions. The mind will then judge these propositions and will accept or reject them via assent or non-assent (sunkatathesis). In doing this, the person will use logical reasoning (logos) in alignment with morally excellent virtue (areté).

So, we can see that modern psychotherapeutic concepts and processes resonate with ancient Stoic concepts and processes. The ultimate goal, of Stoic assent or non-assent, is freedom from unhelpful emotions which leaves us with a peaceful mind that is open to the joy of living. As Epictetus exhorted “Check your passions that you may not be punished by them.” (2004, p.24).

In some respects, Stoic virtue can be compared to Freud’s concept of the superego which is that part of the psyche which self-judges the person by comparison with an idealised image of self. Shame, generated by superego judgment, is seen as painful and unhelpful.

Psychotherapy asks the person to express that painful emotion. To explore that dysfunctional thought. To become aware of and analyse that subconscious belief. To understand that traumatic memory.

Stoicism focuses on little of this. Instead, it requires the craft of paying constant mindful attention to one’s psyche, especially one’s thoughts and behaviours (prosoché). This allows for consistent application of virtue, by using principles and reason in the moment, so that one can continuously live according to Stoic nature. In this process shame, and other unhelpful thoughts and emotions, can be reasoned away moment by moment. As Hadot said: “For the Stoics, the person who is ‘awake’ is always perfectly conscious not only of what he does, but of what he is.” (1995, p.130.)

In the application of Stoic principles via constant mindful attention it could be argued that, just as we are psychologically conditioned by our childhood, society, culture, religion etc., we can also be conditioned by Stoic principles. While Stoicism can be a personal journey, there are universal themes within Stoicism and its principles. So, in terms of free will and determinism, it could be argued that acceptance and adherence to universal Stoic principles denies us elements of free thought and free will.

However, it would be very difficult to argue that adherence to Stoicism’s good emotions (eupatheiai) would do anything other than provide us with a peaceful mind. Thus, Joy (charan), Caution (eulabeian) and Wishing (boulesin) provide essential building blocks of virtue and, by extension, assist in the development of a healthy psychological process. If, when engaging with the world, a person was to constantly adhere to the subsets of these good emotions – mirth and cheerfulness, modesty and reverence, benevolence and friendliness – then that person’s psyche would have little reason to generate shame.

Shame is an internal experience that is unpleasant. For a Stoic, shame arises from one’s own non-adherence to virtue. Similar to the superego’s idealised self, Stoic virtue asks that we strive for perfect moral excellence within our mind. However, as the Irish proverb asserts: Ní bhíonn saoi gan locht – there is no wise person without fault. The perfect sage does not exist. Therefore, all Stoics will experience shame. For Stoics, shame is an impression that subsequently presents itself as a proposition. That shame-laden proposition then asks: Am I guilty of something that is not in accordance with my virtue?

Thus shame, from a Stoic perspective, can be both a painful intrusion and a welcome reminder. Having applied reason and virtue to the proposition, assented shame is an opportunity for remorse and learning. I must pause, reflect, atone, learn and move on. In doing this, I can re-establish happiness via human flourishing (eudaimonia) and further develop my virtue. So, the Stoic intrapsychic process of analysing (prohairesis) one’s shame can enhance one’s virtue. Enhancing virtue helps one become increasingly immune to internal and external judgement and consequently increasingly immune to shame. As Seneca proposed: “There can be no such good except as the soul discovers it for itself within itself. Virtue alone affords everlasting and peace-giving joy; even if some obstacle arises, it is but like an intervening cloud, which floats beneath the sun but never prevails against it.” (2015, p.61).

Though there are similarities, Stoic virtue differs from our superego in helpful ways. Punitive superego attacks, which generate shame, usually focus on self-perceptions. I am stupid. I am useless. I am boring. For Stoics, shame is seen as being triggered by behaviour towards others. Musonius Rufus posited that a wise person is not shamed by others but that “He believes that the shame comes from not in being insulted but in behaving in an insulting manner.” (2011, p.50). Therefore, once our intention is consistently in accordance with virtue and reason then we should not concern ourselves with the outcome. We have behaved ethically and are not guilty of anything. So, there is no reason to feel shame.

Thus, when people are constantly focused on living according to nature, and consequently behaving virtuously by living for the welfare of mankind, then, as Marcus Aurelius wrote, “They’re like a vine that produces grapes without looking for anything in return.” (2012, 5.6). This absolute adherence to virtue would mean that one’s psychological energy is focused solely on a way of being that cannot generate shame.

I believe that Stoicism can have an important part to play in developing and maintaining a healthy psyche. It requires a deep understanding of Stoic logic and ethics, especially morally excellent virtue (areté), logical reasoning (logos) and constant mindful attention to one’s thoughts and behaviours (prosoché). It also requires a strong commitment to maintaining these as our primary guiding principles and conscious cognitive processes. Arius Didymus put it succinctly when he said “…the belief that the sage does everything well is consistent with his completing everything in accord with correct reasoning and in a fashion which is in accord with virtue, which is the art that deals with life as a whole.” (quoted in Sellars, 2014, p.37).

In conclusion, I would like to refer again to the client I mentioned in my opening paragraph. In her email, she wrote about how Stoicism had eventually created what she called an “antivirus program” in her mind. Her mind had begun to automatically process her thoughts and emotions in a much less self-critical way. Consequently, the intensity of her shame and associated anxiety has greatly decreased. Such can be the reward for immersion in Stoic logic and ethics.